Last night in the wee hours of the morning my phone rings. After groping around on the wrong side of the bed looking for the phone—I’m still half asleep—I switch to the other side of the bed and grab the receiver. Some garbled form of hello falls out of my mouth, and then I hear, “Would you like to subscribe to our weekly magazine?”
I say, “It’s 3:30 in the freaking morning. NO!” Then I hang up and return to sleep while making a mental note to star 69 when I next awake, which would hopefully be when sunshine falls across my floor. How bizarre is that? I did remember to star 69, but the number wasn’t known. Prank caller? Probably. I had hoped it would be my boyfriend, because he sometimes calls at that hour—it’s the whole military thing—he has to call when he can. I haven’t heard from him in two weeks, so you can imagine my disappointment.
The call was so strange, I’ve been wondering if I dreamed it. I mean what kind of prank caller asks you if you want to subscribe to a magazine? Then again it could have been a caller from another country who didn’t think about the hour differences. Not likely though—emailing would be cheaper. Then I thought maybe it could have been a company from the west coast, but there again it would have still been after midnight, and what company solicits magazine subscriptions after twelve in the morning?
I’m afraid it’ll remain one of those unsolvable mysteries … or maybe solicitors found a loophole in the Do Not Call Registry—like nothing was said about calling or not calling between midnight and 6 a.m.—revenge of the telemarketers! That’s just plain silly.
I’ve got it! I bet it was some poor guy who has worked for Time Magazine for over 10 years and has called prospective subscribers so many times he does it in his sleep, literally. Okay, maybe that’s just plain silly too.
Well, I'm taking my silly self off to bed and hopefully I won't be awakened by a mysterious nocturnal phone caller with nothing better to do than selling magazine subscriptions.